had been going out with her boyfriend for a few years. I am an Australian and had met Reason 16, an American, while travelling through the UK. I was on a two year visa and was nearing the end of it, so at it’s conclusion I extended my stay by applying for a de facto extension on Reason 16’s visa.
It came to the time when my man was told that he was going to have to go to Hong Kong as part of a three-month international secondment. Reason 16 was quite reluctant to go (not wanting to be parted from me), but after some hefty convincing from my end, he agreed, on the proviso that I would come over to visit part way through his three-month stay. To be honest, I thought that this was a fabulous idea because it meant that I could go home for a holiday, stop off in Hong Kong on the way over and back, thereby killing two birds with one stone – a long overdue visit home, and a holiday with my boyfriend in Asia. I was getting her Hong Kong shopping list together before he had even packed his bags!
For the first two weeks, Reason 16 called every day to say hello and see how I was going, and while he was gone, my group of friends ensured that I was kept busy so that loneliness didn’t set in. After the second week though, Reason 16 was a littl odd on a few phonecalls, but I was assured by friends that things are always a little bit different over a long distance via telephone, as they are with e-mail and text messages, because there was the absence of facial expressions and body language that are both such important parts of our communication processes. This sounded good to me!
Part-way through week four of Reason 16’s 3-month absence, I took a bad phonecall. Reason 16 rang me to tell me that he had changed his mind about my visit. He told me that he didn’t want to see me in Hong Kong and was having second thought about our relationship. I was devastated.
Apparently, Reason 16 was having too much fun in Hong Kong (clearly, more than he thought he was going to have), and due to the excess of female attention he seemed to be receiving, he said that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue on with ourr relationship. When pressed for more information he emphatically denied that there was anyone else, laughing (much to my frustration) that he had only been there for a few weeks, which certainly wasn’t long enough to meet a “someone else”.
A day or two later, I had amended my travel plans. Instead of waiting a further three weeks to go and visit, I changed my ticket so that I was leaving as soon as I coud (actually, I paid for another one, because my first one was a non-changeable ticket – more reason for fury, but that’s another story). I told Reason 16 this and was calmly informed that he didn’t want to see me in Hong Kong and that he wouldn’t be picking me up form the airport. I screamed at him that I didn’t know anyone else there and would walk the streets of Hong Kong looking for him if he wouldn’t come to the airport for me.
Reason 16 picked me up from the airport. He didn’t kiss me hello nor did he speak to me for the duration of the drive back to his company-provided serviced apartment. Eventually, I asked if he was going to speak to me at all throughout my stay and his response was, “I told you I didn’t want you here. I don’t even know why you came.”
I explained (in my calmest voice) that I had thought our three-year relationshipwas worth the effort of saving and that I wanted to know what was going on. Reason 16 told me that nothing was going on, only that he had been having fun, meeting new people, going out a lot and generally living life. I reminded him that this life wasn’t reality and that I was glad he was having a great time but that like all good things, this too would eventually come to an end, after which he would be returned to the UK to resume his life there – was he really desperate to destroy the life they had had together?
As the tears and arguments flowed, there was a knock on the door. Reason 16 opened it to find the apartment concierge standing there with a piece of paper in his hand. I was out of view and heard the concierge tell Reason 16 that his “lady friend” had been around looking for him and had left a message for him downstairs. Reason 16 calmly thanked the concierge for his trouble and closed the door.
Um…? “What the hell was that? Who is the lady friend? What is going on? I think now is a great time for you to be honest with me!”
Reason 16 answered that there wasn’t a lady friend – just a friend he had been working with – but that he had to make a phone-call. He told me to wait where I was, as he would be right back. “You are going to walk out of this discussion and our three-year relationship for someone you work with?” But Reason 16 was already gone.
That was when I noticed the piece of paper left by the concierge. It sat on the kitchen bench and it had on it the lady friend’s number. I rang. “Hi,” I asked calmly, “is this Taryn?”
The devastating response came back, “Yeah. Who’s this?”
I took all of my frustration of Reason 16 out on this girl (I’m not proud) as I screamed, “I have been with him for three years. I am his girlfriend. Thank you for destroying three years of my life.”
The woman at the end of the line tried to explain that dear Reason 16 hadn’t mentioned anyone important in his life and that she didn’t know what Iwas talking about. I hung up in tears of frustration.
When Reason 16 made his way back to his apartment, he was irate, ranting and raving, yelling at me, “Taryn said you called her. What the hell did you say?”
I couldn’t even speak. I was wild. I figured that if he was going to omit facts, then I could play this game too. Reason 16 raged at me, his face only centimetres from mine, “Get out of this apartment. I am going to work. You had better not be here when I get back. And when I get back to the UK, you had better be out of the house. I never want to speak to you again. I can’t believe you’ve come here and done this to Taryn and I.” He left, slamming the door, cursing me under his breath.
Taryn and I? TARYN AND I?! So there was something. I let out a scream. And that was the end. Almost..
A month later, I was back in the UK, collecting my things and packing up my belongings in the house I had shared with Reason 16. Before returning to the mother country, I had decided that she would do him a favour by removing of a number of items from the house – not wanting to cause him further distress by looking at them and remembering her. That was how a number of my friends came across a flat panel TV, a play-station, a bed, a lounge suite and a washer/drier. And this time, it was the end.
